Humor: Potentially and Realistically  

Posted by Zebulah in , , ,

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?'

The boy replied, 'Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, But Realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo.

Four Things You Cannot Recover  

Posted by Zebulah

Did anyone ever tell you these...  

Posted by Zebulah

Did Anyone Ever Tell You Just How Special You Are. The Light that You Emit Might even Light a Star.

Did Anyone Ever Tell You How Important You Make Others Feel.
Somebody out here is Smiling, Because of something you said or something you did!

Did Anyone Ever Tell You that Many Times When They were Sad Your E-mail made Them Smile. In Fact, It made Them Glad.

Did Anyone Ever Tell You Just How Much They Like You. Well, My Dearest Friend Today I am Telling You. I believe that without a friend you are missing out on a lot!

Don't Give Up  

Posted by Zebulah

One day I decided to quit. I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. 'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?' His answer surprised me...

'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'

'Yes', I replied.

'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

He said.'In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.' He said.

'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.' He asked me. 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots'. 'I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.'

'Don't compare yourself to others.' He said. 'The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'

'Your time will come', God said to me. 'You will rise high'

'How high should I rise?' I asked.

'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.

'As high as it can?' I questioned.

'Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'

I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. Never, Never, Never Give up. For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity. Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Money  

Posted by Zebulah

With money you can buy a house, but not a home.

With money you can buy a clock, but not time.

With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep.

With money you can buy a book, but not knowledge.

With money you can see a doctor, but not good health.

With money you can buy a position, but not respect.

With money you can buy blood, but not life.

With money you can buy sex, but not love.

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